Finding fun and joy in life

As I talk with Dale on this trip, done reading on joy, done research happiness, and thought over what I have heard, read, and talk about; I am beginning to think that happiness is not one thing. It is a set of things all wrapped up and how I react to it. It is more than a feeling or event. It is not adrenaline or doing something out of the ordinary. For me I need to relax and look at the now. I am going to be doing a mini grateful diary here several times a week. I will pick one thing I am grateful for and explore it then think about it and how my life is blessed for having it. I am going to record all of those thoughts so I can have them here to look at if I come to a down day. I am going to try and be more present in my here and now, not being upset over something in the past I can not change or stressing over something that might happen. I will do my best to arrange my life so I have prepare adequately for the future, but not wasted my present on worrying about it or the past. Joy c...

At times I get down as I feel most people do. How do I handle that, you ask?  I am finding several ways to do this. After talking with my best friend, my husband, I have decided a few things. First I have found, for me, that just writing it down here in this blog helps me. It is a way I let it out and face the things that bother me. Also it helps me look at the things I write and think on them concisely. To really think on things and feelings, helps me to deal with them and be conscious of them. I can not deal with the negative until I admit it is a problem and face it. I can then work on resolving my feeling and hopeful put it in the past, where it happened and belongs.  I have been trying to work on remembering that the past is the past and can not be changed, so wishing it was different is not going to help me now. I am trying to face these negative events/feeling and work on releasing them. I will probably never forget them, but I am going to work on letting them go, as ...

After the last post, I want to state that I just  needed to write those feelings down so I could  acknowledge the some of the problems and start to let them go. If you don't accept that there is a problem, how can you fix it. Writing them down helped me to see that I am letting the past (in some instance, the distant past) put a damper on my today and possibly my tomorrows. I do not want to do that! So I am working on letting them go and concentrating on finding joys now. I have been to two showers this week, one a bridal and the other a baby shower for twins. Here is joy: Smiles, laughter, and good friends!

Today, I am looking at what has been haunting me for year, worry and should. As I start this I want to say, I am writing about are the things that I believe let me to doing what I thought other felt I should, worrying about other and what they thought of me, and led me to try to be the perfect daughter, wife, mother, and person. Which i think lead me to where I feel I have lost the fun of life and my joy. There were a lot of good times, but these are the times that lead me to not know me and what I want. This is turning into a sad novel, so don't feel the need to read this, it is more a place for me to get these sad things that have been held inside out of my system once and for all, I hope. For as long as I can remember, I have worried about things and people. We moved a lot when I was very young and in grade school. When I was a child I worried if my dad would come back; if he did would he be drunk and hurt one of us? Would my mom have the money to buy what we needed; rent food...

I have had a couple of days to think on the purpose of this blog. I among thinking that there are many degrees of happiness and joy. There is the sweet joy I experienced attending a bridal shower for one of my best friends daughters last evening. The bride to be just glowed and to see her so bubbly and smiley brought a warm glow to my soul. Also my best friend was also just so smiling and radiant. The happiness in that event was so special. There was the happiness of a belated birthday wish from one of my aunts. It reminded me how lucky I am to have two aunts (86 and 87) still only a phone call away. I have my mom who I talk to or text nearly every day (she is 84) and my uncle who is so active with his beautiful wife (both in there mid 70's). I have no-one of the generation above me on the other side of my family, but I have these totally caring people (my mom and her siblings) still here to visit with! My daughter-in-law, son, and their kids are decluttering their life and down...

This is a banner year for me, I guess. I have just turned 60. That still seems strange as I don't feel like I alway thought I would feel when I was getting "old". In my mind I still am young like in my twenties and thirties, but the mirror show something a little different. I am working on many things such as a healthier lifestyle, and traveling. Both of which I address in a couple of my other blogs.  For quite a while now, I have felt like I have lost the wonder of living. You know that joy for life, feeling like you still know how to have fun. I think without that I will truly become old. I have pondered on how to find it again, for yes, it did have it once. I used to try a lot of new things, loved people and being around them, people seemed to want to be around me, life held wonder and adventure. I seem to have forgotten how to do  that and how to have some of those feelings. Don't get me wrong, I am not seriously depressed, but I am not excited for the next thing ...