Talking with a friend
At times I get down as I feel most people do. How do I handle that, you ask? I am finding several ways to do this. After talking with my best friend, my husband, I have decided a few things.
First I have found, for me, that just writing it down here in this blog helps me. It is a way I let it out and face the things that bother me. Also it helps me look at the things I write and think on them concisely. To really think on things and feelings, helps me to deal with them and be conscious of them. I can not deal with the negative until I admit it is a problem and face it. I can then work on resolving my feeling and hopeful put it in the past, where it happened and belongs. I have been trying to work on remembering that the past is the past and can not be changed, so wishing it was different is not going to help me now. I am trying to face these negative events/feeling and work on releasing them. I will probably never forget them, but I am going to work on letting them go, as with anger, the person who is hurt the most by this is me. I must also remember, I can not take on other peoples problems that I can not truly solve. I can try to help in ways I feel do help in the long run, but they are not my problem, so I can not solve them really. Sometimes this is hard as my heart hurts for these people, but all I can do is try to the best of who I am.
Second, I have found that talking out loud, sometimes helps me release tension and look at what is truly bothering me. I know when I am upset I tend to get defensive and might say things that I do not mean. So to avoid hurting people by saying things I don't really mean, I have a set of stuffed animals (plush) that I can rant and rave at it I need to to let of tension, so I can look and what is truly the problem. Their "feeling" don't get hurt and I can laugh at myself afterward sometimes.
Thirdly, I am deleting some madras to say when I get feeling hurt by things someone says or writes.
1. This is not my fault, how others feel is not my fault if I have only tried to be nice and loving. If they won't or can't accept me and what I can give them, then that is there choice. It does not mean I will not still care about that person, but I will not let it hurt me anymore.
2. I am responsible for me, my feelings, and my actions. I choose how I react to what others do, I will not blame them for my feelings. those are mine and I will own them and I am learning to direct them.
3. Bad things happen sometimes that are not really anything I can or could control, I will not let those things destroy me, especially not things in the past.
4.Joy, happiness, and peace come for within. I will work on finding ways and new methods to bring more of them out into my life.
5 I am a good person, worth knowing and liking. And I will like myself! I will except me and try to make me the best person for me.
When someone says or writes something that hurts me or I feel is not true about me, I am just working on feeling sorry that they are hurting or sad; It they can not see the caring I have for them, it is that they can't see, not that I don't care or haven't tried. I am human and as such make mistakes, but I never have tried to hurt anyone else on purpose. I try to think of others and try to do what I can to help them, sometimes I have to except it isn't what they want or need, I guess. But it does not mean that I have to be or do something that I am not. I can not know what isn not told me plainly, nor can I except others to know what I want or need if I do not ask clearly and make sure they understand what I am asking.
Hopefully I can remember these things and keep working on finding more fun, joy, and happiness each day.
Just a by the way, today is a good day and the sun even shone where I am, brightening and making the land glow!
First I have found, for me, that just writing it down here in this blog helps me. It is a way I let it out and face the things that bother me. Also it helps me look at the things I write and think on them concisely. To really think on things and feelings, helps me to deal with them and be conscious of them. I can not deal with the negative until I admit it is a problem and face it. I can then work on resolving my feeling and hopeful put it in the past, where it happened and belongs. I have been trying to work on remembering that the past is the past and can not be changed, so wishing it was different is not going to help me now. I am trying to face these negative events/feeling and work on releasing them. I will probably never forget them, but I am going to work on letting them go, as with anger, the person who is hurt the most by this is me. I must also remember, I can not take on other peoples problems that I can not truly solve. I can try to help in ways I feel do help in the long run, but they are not my problem, so I can not solve them really. Sometimes this is hard as my heart hurts for these people, but all I can do is try to the best of who I am.
Second, I have found that talking out loud, sometimes helps me release tension and look at what is truly bothering me. I know when I am upset I tend to get defensive and might say things that I do not mean. So to avoid hurting people by saying things I don't really mean, I have a set of stuffed animals (plush) that I can rant and rave at it I need to to let of tension, so I can look and what is truly the problem. Their "feeling" don't get hurt and I can laugh at myself afterward sometimes.
Thirdly, I am deleting some madras to say when I get feeling hurt by things someone says or writes.
1. This is not my fault, how others feel is not my fault if I have only tried to be nice and loving. If they won't or can't accept me and what I can give them, then that is there choice. It does not mean I will not still care about that person, but I will not let it hurt me anymore.
2. I am responsible for me, my feelings, and my actions. I choose how I react to what others do, I will not blame them for my feelings. those are mine and I will own them and I am learning to direct them.
3. Bad things happen sometimes that are not really anything I can or could control, I will not let those things destroy me, especially not things in the past.
4.Joy, happiness, and peace come for within. I will work on finding ways and new methods to bring more of them out into my life.
5 I am a good person, worth knowing and liking. And I will like myself! I will except me and try to make me the best person for me.
When someone says or writes something that hurts me or I feel is not true about me, I am just working on feeling sorry that they are hurting or sad; It they can not see the caring I have for them, it is that they can't see, not that I don't care or haven't tried. I am human and as such make mistakes, but I never have tried to hurt anyone else on purpose. I try to think of others and try to do what I can to help them, sometimes I have to except it isn't what they want or need, I guess. But it does not mean that I have to be or do something that I am not. I can not know what isn not told me plainly, nor can I except others to know what I want or need if I do not ask clearly and make sure they understand what I am asking.
Hopefully I can remember these things and keep working on finding more fun, joy, and happiness each day.
Just a by the way, today is a good day and the sun even shone where I am, brightening and making the land glow!
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